2. The situation: He’s got mommy issues. Abandoned by his mother and raised by an “emotionally crippled” grandmother, Leia’s ex-boyfriend Antonio had an embarrassing habit of throwing temper tantrums when they got into fights. “He’d give me the silent treatment or take jabs at me whenever we were among friends,” explains the 30-year-old Colombiana from New York City. Leia discovered it was a pattern he couldn’t break.
For three years, Leia and Antonio would argue, play the blame game, make up, and repeat. But Leia realized Antonio never owned up to his behavior. “He’d ask me to be understanding,” shares Leia. At first, she empathized — she had felt abandoned as well. “We all have insecurities that can play out in relationships,” explains Xiomara A. Sosa, a clinical mental health-forensic counselor and founder, president, and CEO of The Get-Right! Organization. When insecurities that are born out of parental neglect and abuse go unresolved, they “can create a dysfunctional relationship that is filled with chaos and stress.”
At Leia’s insistence, Antonio went to counseling, but that didn’t last very long. “Once the subject of his grandmother came up, he stopped therapy and never went back,” she admits.
Sensing that Antonio would never get the help he needed to move forward, Leia moved on without him.