10 commandments for healthy relationships
Posted: 12 Apr 2011 07:00 AM PDT
When couples come to see me for help repairing their relationships, I give them my 10 Commandments for Healthy Relationships. If you’re having trouble with your loved ones, keep these commandments handy.
1. Taking care of your brain is taking care of your relationships. Your brain is involved in everything you do, including how you think, how you feel, how you act, and how well you get along with other people. When your brain works right, you work right; and when your brain is troubled you are much more likely to have trouble in your relationship.
2. To have great relationships avoid things that hurt your brain, such as brain injuries, smoking, too much alcohol, any illegal drugs, obesity, sleep apnea, a poor diet, and a lack of new learning.
3. To have great relationships engage in regular brain healthy habits, such as exercise, mental exercise, great nutrition, and adequate sleep.
4. Regular sexual activity is helpful for the brain. It has been associated with a better mood and memory. Say yes more than no to physical affection.
5. To be a great lover you have to protect your blood flow. Your brain gets 25 percent of the blood flow in your body. To improve your blood flow eliminate anything that decreases blood flow, such as smoking or too much caffeine, and treat illnesses that negatively affect blood flow such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and diabetes.
6. Exercise together. Dancing is a particularly good exercise for the brain. Of course, if you drink while you dance, it ruins the benefits.
7. New learning is essential to keeping the brain young. Take classes together and be lifelong learning partners.
8. If either of you has brain problems, such as ADHD, bipolar disorder, depression, or a brain injury, get help. The sooner the better, because left untreated, brain problems ruin relationships.
9. Support your partner’s efforts at having a great brain. He or she will be much nicer to you if he or she has a great brain.
10. The following supplements can fuel passion and increase your enjoyment of sexual activity.
- Fish oil is a wonderful supplement to enhance your love life. It helps with mood, so you may be happier, less irritable, and subsequently feel more sexual. The typical dosage of fish oil is 1 to 2 g a day, but I often recommend 2 to 4 g a day.
- If you tend to be anxious and worried, 5-HTP can help to boost serotonin and give you more emotional freedom and energy to put toward your sex life. The recommended dosage is 50-100 mg two or three times daily with or without food.
- If you tend to have low energy (the “not tonight, I’m too tired” syndrome) and feel negative, SAMe may help to boost your energy and mood. The recommended dosage is 200-400 mg two to four times a day.
- Ginkgo biloba boosts blood flow to all organs in the body. The typical adult dosage is 60-120 mg twice daily.
- Panax ginseng can increase energy, decrease stress, and improve endurance. The typical adult dosage is 200 mg a day of the standardized extract, containing 4-7 percent of ginsenosides.
- DHEA is a hormone produced by the adrenal glands that is involved in the production of testosterone and estrogen. It may be beneficial for people with low testosterone, which is associated with low libido. The recommended dosage is 25-50 mg daily.
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